Made A Mistake, Kissed A Snake
by Elsiesnuffin
Summary: We saw Jeff and Annie helping Pierce jump rope in 'Paradigms Of Human Memory'. How did they get there?


**Disclaimer: 'Community' and its characters belong to NBC and Dan Harmon. I'm neither of those things (unfortunately?). What I'm saying is don't sue me or leave me a nasty voicemail over this. **

* * *

Cookies?

Jeff tips his head up, sniffing the air as he moves down the hallway. The girls (and Garrett) in the home economics class are making cookies today. That means that that one girl who is trying to pretend she's a blonde will spring up in front of him at some point today and offer him one. He almost wishes that he hadn't randomly made out with her after that football game last month. She had so far been a hard one to shake.

What was her name? Trisha? Tessa? Theresa?

Okay, so it would probably be better if he could avoid her all day.

There is a flash of something purple to his left and then suddenly Annie is blocking his way down the hall, staring up at him with her Precious Moments Eyes. Jeff sighs, knowing damn well what is about to happen. First, she'll cock her head to the side, batting her eyelashes. And…

Yep. There it is. And now she is going to sigh deeply and whine out-

"Jeff…" He rolls his eyes and tries unsuccessfully to side-step her. She looks up at him, clearly hurt that he is set on attempting to avoid her. "You haven't even heard what I'm going to say yet," she accuses sourly as she wraps her tiny fingers around the straps of her backpack. Jeff glares down at her.

"I don't have to," he answers airily. "You wouldn't have approached me with your giant influential eyes cranked up to eleven if this was something that I was interested in hearing." This time, she lets him pass and he does so without sparing her another glance. He take three steps only to hear her sigh loudly behind him. Exhaling, Jeff turns around to watch her shuffling away, shoulders slumped in defeat. "That's it?" he asks and she turns around, startled by him. "That's all the harder you're gonna try on this?" He shakes his head sadly. "I kind of expected more from you." He spins back in the opposite direction, a small smile forming on her face. It only takes about two point seven seconds for Annie to hustle back to his side, a matching smile on her face. He unconsciously slows his gate to match hers more easily.

"There's this Double Dutch-"

"Annie," he cuts in with a shake of his head.

"- jump rope competition this weekend," Annie continues over him. "And I need someone to help me swing the rope."

He stops and turns to face her, his eyes narrowed skeptically. "Is this one of those times where I can openly mock you without you getting mad? Like that time I found the 'High School Musical' soundtrack on your iPod?" He pulls his books up to his chest as she begins to pout up at him. "Out of morbid curiosity, who is actually doing the jumping?"

"Pierce?" Annie answers slowly, wincing slightly.

Jeff begins laughing at that, tipping his head back. "What, somebody already call dibs on Leonard?"

She bats her eyes at him. "You are really so worried about your image that you won't do this for me?" The corner of her lower lip slips between her teeth.

"Even if I was easily taken by the blatant manipulation you're trying on me, I have plans this weekend." Jeff spins away and continues to make his way down the hallway. She doesn't waste any time before she is at his elbow again. "And yet, you're still following me."

"What are your plans?" she asks, gearing up for her hurt puppy impression. Jeff groans inwardly. Hadn't she promised only a few months ago that she thought he was gross? Jeff gives her a look out of the corner of his eye. "I'm just curious," Annie continues, shrugging a shoulder innocently.

"I'm Christmas shopping?" he says unsurely. That seems like a good excuse. Right? He definitely can't tell her what he will be doing, which is likely to involve Britta with little to no clothes on. "For my mother?"

"Really," Annie notes, clearly not believing him.

"Yeah," Jeff answers airily. He pulls his sunglasses out of his jacket pocket and slips them onto his face. "I hope you can find someone to help you out though." He offers her a grin that she doesn't return and he doesn't even have to hurry out of the building, because she's no longer trying to follow him.

All in all, that had actually been much easier than he would have anticipated.

ooo

He's not completely sure how he ends up at Britta's apartment late that evening, in the middle of a 'Donkey Kong' marathon with Troy and Abed. Britta sits by, complaining pretty loudly about the fact that they've taken over her living room without asking her and that she should at least get to play.

"Yeah, but you suck," Jeff argues without taking his eyes off the screen.

"Bite me," she shoots back and he raises one eyebrow at her. A moment later, Britta rolls her eyes in response before dropping onto the couch next to Troy. When she does, the younger man turns to look at her quizzically.

"Do you think we'll be able to see any of Annie's thing tomorrow?" he asks her.

"Are you guys talking about that jump rope thing?" he inquires with a chuckle. "How does Annie manage to get involved in these things?"

"Wait," Britta leans forward to speak to him in front of Troy. "She asked you to be on the team?"

Jeff nods. "Why, who else did she ask?"

"Me," Abed mentions from the floor in front of him.

"Me," Troy echoes.

Britta smirks. "Me."

Abed raises a finger into the air. "Shirley."

"Starburns," Troy adds.

"I think she might have asked Chang," Britta replies.

That's irritating. Jeff's jaw clenches as he wrenches the controller back away from Troy, causing the quarterback to die. "Dude," he mutters as he looks at Jeff with incredulous eyes.

"Not cool," Abed joins in before passing his controller over to Troy and standing to face the rest of the group. "Jeff, you seem upset about something."

"No," he barks out before clearing his throat. Britta's eyes travel over to his suspiciously. "I'm just surprised that she asked every single other person on campus before me."

"Why?" Britta scoffs.

"Yeah," Troy says. "It's not like there is a chance you were going to do it."

"Well, what about you guys?" Jeff asks, pointing his finger at each of them in turn. "You must have all turned her down too."

"I have dance practice on Saturday mornings," Troy replies defensively.

Britta nods. "Me too." Jeff shakes his head condescendingly at her and she sticks out her tongue.

"What about you, Abed?" Jeff asks, looking up at him.

Abed shakes his head. "I'm helping my dad in his falafel shop all day tomorrow, otherwise I would." He pauses to think. "I hope I can get back early enough to see some of it though. Pierce's age naturally makes him a humorous choice for jumper, but I'm hoping for a subversion of expectations." He lands on the coffee table and Jeff leans over to one side to see around him.

"So, what are you doing that you can't help?" Britta asks after a moment.

Jeff raises his eyebrows significantly, which she gives a halfway grin to, before clearing his throat. "I was planning on doing things that don't involve spending extra time at Greendale for one thing."

"It's okay," Troy announces as he drops the controller onto the coffee table next to Abed. "I heard she got Garrett to do it."

"Seriously?" Jeff asks. "Okay, I don't get it. What is the big deal about this thing that is making her so desperate to compete?"

"It's being sponsored by Toys-R-Us," Britta states. "The prize is a shopping spree."

"If you tell me she just wants to increase her Beanie Baby collection…" Jeff cracks.

"She's planning on donating it to that day care down on Dodge street that had the fire last week, douche." Britta glares at him and he rolls his eyes.

He sighs. "Okay, so what? I'm the bad guy now?"

"Total douche," Britta reiterates.

Troy nods. "It sure seems like it."

"Pretty bad, yeah." Abed nods his head in agreement.

"You have to admit, this is a really stupid idea." Jeff frowns. "Where does the dean come up with this stuff?"

"Yeah," Britta announces. "How ridiculous is it to give away a shopping spree at a toy store a month before Christmas?"

"I like jump rope," Troy says. "It's athletic, kind of."

"Plus you get to do those jump rope chants," Abed offers.

Jeff throws his head back against the couch cushion. "So, what? I'm the dick now, right?"

"Nah," Troy answers. "It doesn't seem selfish at all to deny a bunch of needy children toys at Christmas time." He scrunches his face up as he shakes his head sarcastically.

"Why does this always happen?" Jeff groans. "Annie gets herself into these situations and then I have to be the one to swoop in and save her."

"Please," Britta scoffs. "When has that ever happened?"

"Debate?" Jeff answers, pleased with himself for exactly two seconds. Then he sees Britta's smirk and knows he's in trouble.

"Well, see if you can keep your tongue out of her mouth this time," she conde-smugs toward him and Jeff clenches his jaw.

"Whatever," Jeff replies. "You weren't even there, so…."

"I was," Abed speaks up from in front of him. "It was more passionate than what I had even predicted."

"It was unnatural," Troy continues. "But kind of hot."

Jeff glares over at Britta, who shrugs at him.

Ugh.

Jeff looks over at his digital alarm clock and groans. 7:03. In the _morning_. That is way too early to be awake on a Saturday. He rolls over and puts a pillow over his head. His phone vibrates on his nightstand and Jeff sighs before picking it up to read the message.

_Greendale students! Everyone come a support childhood at the Jump-A-Thon, today in the cafeteria! _

Jeff rolls his eyes at what he hopes is a campus-wide message sent out by the dean and not just a private text for himself. He'd asked the dean to stop with those last month. He rises slowly from his bed and stretches his arms over his head with a yawn. He would go for a run and then sit down to a marathon of all the 'Real Houswives' episodes he has on his Tivo.

It would be a great Saturday.

He pulls a worn tee shirt from his dresser and slips if over his head before stepping out into the living room. Chang is sprawled out on the couch, legs and arms at odd angles that can't be comfortable. And he's snoring. Loudly. Jeff kicks the couch and Chang snorts into consciousness. "Get up," Jeff snarls, irritated just at the sight of the small Asian man this morning.

"Harsh, dude." Chang sits up, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "What is with you?"

"Are you even pretending to look for somewhere else to live?" Jeff asks by way of reply.

"I was thinking," Ben answers holding up his hands already in a defensive move. "What if I just stayed here?"

Jeff glowers. "What if I lit you on fire?"

Chang rears his head back, his eyes widening. "Okay, geez. I get it." He stands and Jeff squeezes his eyes shut the moment he realizes Ben isn't wearing any bottoms to his pajamas. "So, what are you doing today, amigo?"

Jeff makes a noise of disgust in the back of his throat as he turns away from the other man to retrieve his iPhone from his nightstand. He slips an armband around his bicep and tucks the phone in before returning to the living room. "I'm going for a run," he announces as he lifts his ear buds from the coffee table. "Try and find some pants before I get back."

"Hey," Chang calls to him. "Do you want to go to that jump rope thing at the school today?" Jeff glares at him. "I have money on Pierce keeling over within five minutes."

"No," Jeff snaps at him. He leaves the apartment quickly, slamming the door shut behind him and starts doing some half-hearted stretching on the way to the elevator. Seconds after he pushes the button, the door flies open and Jeff is face to face with the red head he keeps seeing in the building gym. He smiles at her and she grins back before taking a drink from her water bottle. "Going running?" he asks charmingly, taking in her spandex track pants and sports bra sitting under an open hoodie.

"Just getting back," she answers in a slightly breathless tone.

"You weren't too cold?" he asks.

She shakes her head, her eyes glinting at him. "No, I get really hot when I run." He smirks at her, raising an eyebrow in question. They ride in silence for several floors, simply making eye contact with each other. The elevator stops again and she glances up at Jeff almost expectantly for a moment before smiling. "See you around," she promises and exits as Jeff openly looks at her ass. The rest of the ride is spent scrolling through his songs to find a play list. He presses play just as he steps out into the cold Colorado weather, shivering slightly. He always froze for the first half mile, but he knows he will warm up quickly.

He always did anyway.

The blacktop moves under his feet easily, Jeff focusing on his breath rather than paying any attention to the sights he's passing. For some reason, he takes a right on Juniper instead of the right he always takes that leads him past his old law firm. He picks up the speed slightly, surprising himself with the energy he has this morning. Usually Saturdays were the hardest day to get this done.

He would run for an hour, get back to the apartment and shower and spend the rest of the day watching terrible reality television and playing a never-ending game of 'Words With Friends' with Britta. Maybe later, he would go over to her apartment and _not_ be accosted by the lost boys she cares for all the time. Although maybe that red head had really meant it when she'd said she would see him later. He should learn her name.

Glancing at his watch, he notices it's twenty to eight. Soon the competition would start and the everyone who had nothing better to do on a Saturday morning (seriously, who scheduled this thing?) would be there to laugh at Pierce and Garret and, presumably Annie.

Jeff tips his head back for a moment, staring up at the sky. There is no reason he should feel guilty for saying no to her. She wants his help all the time, and he almost always gives in to her. She has the ability to manipulate him better than anyone for some reason he hasn't figured out yet. But, a jump rope competition? She couldn't find something even _more _twee and ridiculous to take part in? Maybe a Justin Beiber look-a-like contest? So it doesn't matter a second later when Jeff closes his eyes that all he can see is Annie's big guilt-inducing blue eyes staring at him, searchingly. She has a way of looking at him as if he can solve all of her problems, as if he should solve all of his problems. Hell, half the time, he feels like he should at least be trying.

But not this time.

It wasn't going to work.

Jeff turns again onto Park street and literally stops in the middle of the road. A car behind him honks and Jeff slowly jogs closer to the curb, breathing heavily. How had he paid no attention to where the hell he was going?

Greendale looms before him, somehow exuding absurdity even from the street. He can see people entering the building from where he stands, most of them groggy and one of them already hopping. Jeff shakes his head. No. There is no way he's going in there. He won't do it. His feet override him completely though, and before Jeff can really formulate a thought or decide what the best course of action is, he's jogging toward the school. He slips inside quickly, careful not to make eye contact with anyone. He will just wish Annie luck and apologize for being a dick (again) and then he can continue on with a completely clear conscience.

Great plan.

"Jeffrey!" he hears behind him and cringes. "You made it. I knew you would!" Jeff turns to glower down at the dean, who is approaching him quickly with a wide grin. "Are you here to support the members of your study group?" He puts a hand up near his face, blocking his mouth from nearby people and lowers his voice to a stage whisper. "Between you and me, they are the team to beat this year."

"You actually have more than one team competing in this stupid competition?" Jeff asks incredulously, his brow furrowed.

"Yes," the dean answers exuberantly and Jeff wrinkles his nose. "There are several, actually. It's the best turn out we've ever had. There is a team that is made up of a guy who named Magnitude, a girl named Kwendra, I think and a girl with a hat that I don't know."

Jeff shakes his head. "I know none of those people. Are you sure they go to Greendale and aren't just infiltrating to take the awesome prize, dean?"

The dean's smile falters for a moment. "Honestly, I have been worried about that, Jeff." Jeff sighs. "But I will be asking for school I.D.s before handing over the gift certificate today." He scans the crowd behind Jeff and Jeff resists the urge to turn and do the same. "I better get over to the entry table. Starburns can't really be trusted with anything, can he?" With that, the dean hustles away, his small frame moving quickly against the sea of people milling around the cafeteria.

He spots her easily in the crowd, facing away from him, and refuses to think about why that is. She is wearing a gray tee shirt tucked into a pair of regulation gym shorts and a blue sweat band. Somehow, she rounds the corner of 'loser' and manages to come back around to 'adorable and endearing'. How can she do that? She's wearing tube socks hiked up to her knees for Christ's sake. Moving as nonchalantly as he can, Jeff wanders over to her to only catch the end of what is clearly an argument she's in the middle of with Garrett.

"If you would stop trying to steal Snickers from the vending machine, you wouldn't hurt your wrist," she says and Jeff swallows down a chuckle. "What am I supposed to do now, Garrett?"

"I don't know," he answers in his signature high-pitched wail. "But I know I can't turn the rope with this injury." He holds up his limp wrist to prove his point and Annie huffs loudly. Without another word, Garrett galumps away, holding his injured arm to his torso.

"What am I supposed to do now?" Annie repeats softly to herself and if Jeff hadn't been standing so close to her, he never would have heard her in the general din of the cafeteria.

He could turn tail and run away right now. She hasn't even seen him!

Jeff groans inwardly. How did she have this power over him? He clears his throat. "Maybe…maybe I can help." Annie spins on the spot and stares at him, her wide eyes full of naked hope. Jeff readies himself for the onslaught of giggling and wiggling he is sure will occur in the next three seconds, but it doesn't come. Instead, she steps neatly into her personal space and simply wraps her arms surely around his waist before pressing her face against his chest. She's just still and solid against him and Jeff isn't sure what to do with that for several seconds. Finally, he settles for bringing his own arms up to wrap around her shoulders and dropping his chin to the top of her head. She smells like one of those girly Bath and Body Works lotions, sweet pea or cherry blossom. He inhales deeply and _feels_ her do the same to him. It only occurs to Jeff after almost a full minute that this has probably gone on too long and he clears his throat again before pulling away. She looks up at him unsurely and he gives her half a smile that she returns in her beaming-Annie way.

"Thank you," she murmurs to him and he feels something in his chest tighten slightly.

He shrugs his shoulders. "No problem," he answers in a way he hopes sounds more casual than it feels. Annie lifts her chin, studying him in a way that seems familiar, but he can't place it. Her eyes settle on his mouth and Jeff feels his gut respond immediately. Oh, _that_ was that look. Without having any say in the matter, his own eyes slide down to her lips to and he sees her edge ever so slightly closer to him. As if he's being pulled in by a magnetic force he has no control over, Jeff dips his head an inch.

"I'm here, let's get this show on the road," Pierce states loudly from behind them. "Winger, what are you doing here?"

Jeff straightens instantly, wiping his palms against his thighs. "I'm…" he glances down at Annie, who won't make eye contact with him right now. "I'm on the team."

Pierce's eyes narrow suspiciously before he smiles at Jeff. "Okay, just don't check me out in the uniform. I know the last time you were asked to wear gym shorts, you could barely keep your clothes _on_ or keep your hands _off _other men." He leaves them as quickly as he'd arrived and Jeff and Annie are left in awkward silence that usually follows almost-make outs. Or at least Jeff would have to assume. Annie licks her lips nervously and Jeff tries vainly to remember who the starting pitcher was for the Mets in 1996.

Had it still been Bobby Jones in '96?

Annie slides a hand over her perfect shiny hair and finally meets his eye again. Yeah, he can't go see Britta tonight. How could he when he knows damn well he would be imaging the smell of sweet peas and thinking about how proper skirts sometimes cover not-so-proper things. Even _he_ isn't fucked up enough to wade hip deep into a tryst with one friend while thinking about another.

He could still bone the red head though, right?

"You don't have to do this," Annie speaks up, suddenly shy. She shrugs her shoulders.

Jeff smiles down at her, feeling a wave of honest to god affection wash over him. "Yeah, but then I would just get the Care Bear Stare, wouldn't I?" Annie chuckles unsurely and Jeff mentally smacks himself for referencing something that was probably off the air by the time she was born.

Ugh.

She inhales deeply again, looking up at him questioningly. "Are you sure?" she asks finally.

"Let's win this thing," he answers, jerking his head to the side. Annie pulls her bottom lip into her mouth to keep from giving him the full on Edison smile again, but Jeff still feels the same warmth as if she had. Suddenly, her face grows worried.

"You _do _know how to double dutch, don't you?"

He stills.

Wow.

He must really like this girl.

"I'll figure it out."


End file.
